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"Welcome to the Fremont Street Experience Free Speech Zone" Pamphlet
by Andrew Kiraly | posted July 9, 2010
Welcome to the Fremont Street Experience Free Speech Zone!
This select area has been provided to you as a courtesy of the Fremont Street Experience LLC to allow you to exercise your First Amendment rights. We at the Fremont Street Experience value your expression, and recognize that free speech is a fundamental cornerstone of a free and open society when restricted to certain geographic areas Monday through Friday between the hours of 9 a.m. and 6 p.m. PST.
We hope you enjoy your free speech today in the Fremont Street Experience Free Speech Zone. We ask that you follow these simple guidelines to keep the Fremont Street Experience a safe and pleasant environment for all.
- Religious tracts and signs are acceptable forms of expression in the Free Speech Zone. However, for the comfort of our guests, we respectfully ask that depictions of Hell and eternal damnation be rendered in good taste and in a manner palatable to families with children. ACCEPTABLE: Cartoon devils. UNACCEPTABLE: Images of wailing people in flames being torn limb from limb by winged demons wielding pitchforks and scythes. ALSO UNACCEPTABLE: Skeletons, dragons, skeletons riding dragons, towering walls of merciless fire, ravening swarms of locusts feeding on the flesh of the wicked. ALSO UNACCEPTABLE: Lava.
- If you are a strolling saxophonist who performs Kenny G songs in a torturous cycle of screeching cacophony, use the Free Speech Zone at your own risk. While the Fremont Street Experience can ensure your freedom of expression, we CANNOT guarantee that you will be safe from, say, a rain of rocks angrily thrown by enraged passersby.
- Be advised that the Free Speech Zone's $20 entry fee is payable with cash only. And remember to join us on select Free Speech Celebration Nights, when you are automatically entered for a chance to win an immediate taxi ride home.
- When expressing your free speech in the Free Speech Zone, for your own safety, please refrain from touching the electrified, barbed-wire Free Speech Zone fence.
- Please do not shout, scream or chant slogans in the Free Speech Zone, as this tends to provoke the Free Speech Zone guard dogs.
- Please do not attempt to remove, alter or damage your yellow Free Speech Zone Identification Number arm band.
- Finally, please avoid unnecessarily or excessively "free" free speech in the Free Speech Zone. What constitutes "unnecessarily or excessively 'free' free speech" is the sole and exclusive discretion of Fremont Street Experience LLC.
(Note to our valued Fremont Street Experience guests: Do not confuse the Free Speech Zone with the Pants-Free Zone. That is a featured room at a nearby downtown adult entertainment establishment, and is not related to or endorsed by the Fremont Street Experience.)
The Fremont Street Experience
Pick up your Desert Companion today at one of these Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf or Jamba Juice locations.
Also available at Clark County and Henderson libraries.