Desert Companion
 
Subscribe now
Current Issue
JULY 2014
Click the cover to read the complete digital edition
Features
Dealicious Meals

Departments
All things to all people
Community
Editor's Note
End Note
Notes and letters
Take 5
the guide
upcoming events
Take 5
Roadrunners: zippy, darty, a blur of motion! What if, artist Alisha Kerlin wondered after seeing a roadrunner doorstop at a swap meet, you turned...   
July 24, 7p and July 25, 10:30a. This energetic, bilingual, pop music show is an outstanding experience for families and their young kids. $3. July...   
You’re all, Boston and Cheap Trick are old dudes, dude, and we’re like, Yeah, but at least one of those bands can still...   
  0

Dear Las Vegas,

It’s been 10 years (officially, as of Feb. 1), since I moved here. When will I fit in? I’ve learned the difference between Lake Mead Boulevard and Lake Mead Parkway. I’ve been here long enough to own an underwater house and remember when First Friday was still cool. But, somehow, I still stick out.

Please help,

Heidi

***

Dear Heidi,

Given the high turnover, you’re not the first to suffer from Las Vegas Outsider Syndrome. To help those in your situation, I’ve developed the following checklist. According to local custom, you have another 10 years — the time by which one becomes an honorary native — to complete each item.

Good luck!

Las Vegas

  • Learn the stealth way in and out of every parking garage on the Strip.
  • Adopt a story about “opening” one of the landmark hotels, to tell when it gets imploded. (Remember, simply having been inside the hotel, in some professional capacity, within a week of its opening date qualifies.)
  • Cultivate strong opinions about policy, but refuse to openly embrace any political party.
  • Remember: Rebels basketball, good; Rebels football, bad.
  • Dress like an Angeleno ... from a year ago.
  • Correct a know-it-all visitor or East Coast columnist on this point: Bugsy Siegel didn’t “make” Las Vegas or The Strip; Meyer Lansky did.
  • Feign reverence for the Double Down Saloon as the greatest dive bar on Earth.
  • Complain about the need for better public transportation, but drive your car to the convenience store on the corner.
  • Recall a subdivision as a place where you used to ride your bike when — of course — “there was nothing out there but desert.”


Comments
























































































































 

Best Doctor
Play the desert companion video

DC Scene
Recent Posts
7/22/14  
Hey, you using that blood?
7/21/14  
What's in a name?
7/18/14  
NAACP invites Las Vegas to Mandalay Bay
{more posts...}


Archives
Archives

Newstand Locations
Pick up your Desert Companion today at one of these Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf or Jamba Juice locations.
Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf LAKE MEAD & TENAYA
7291 W Lake Mead
Directions


PALMS CASINO
4321 W Flamingo Rd
Directions


UNLV
4550 W Maryland Pkwy Suite A
Directions


CARNIVALE
3377 Las Vegas Blvd
The Venetian Food Court
Directions


THE LAKES
9091 W Sahara Ave
Directions


THE DISTRICT
2220 Village Walk Dr Suite 140
Directions


MIRACLE MILE
3663 Las Vegas Blvd S Suite 45
Directions


CANYON POINT
10834 W Charleston Blvd Suite 200
Directions


TOWN CENTER
3645 S Town Center Dr Suite 101
Directions


PATRICK
6115 S Rainbow Blvd Suite 101
Directions


PALAZZO
3265 Las Vegas Blvd, Suite 1600
Directions


TOWN SQUARE
6599 Las Vegas Blvd, South #P-8149
Directions


BRIDGE
3377 Las Vegas Blvd
The Venetian
Directions


BOULDER CITY
Boulder Dam Credit Union
530 Avenue G
Boulder City NV
Directions

Jumba Juice

PEBBLE
1500 N. Green Valley Pkwy Suite 240
Directions


SAHARA & EASTERN
2675 S. Eastern Ave Suite 400
Directions


MCCARRAN MARKETPLACE
5905 S Eastern Ave Suite 108
Directions
NORTH MESA PLAZA
1829 W. Craig Road Unit 3
Directions


CANNERY CORNER
2546 E. Craig Road Suite 135
Directions


WESTLAND FAIR
1121 S. Decatur Blvd
Directions



Also available at Clark County and Henderson libraries.
Emerald City Smoothie

ST GEORGE
2376 East Red Cliffs Drive #502
St. George, UT 84790
Directions


Desert Companion