THERE'S NOTHING LIKE SEEING the joy on a child's face on Christmas morning -- and it's even more magical when the gift bringing that joy is a pet. Are you considering buying a kitten, puppy or some other critter for your children this season? Here are some helpful tips.

- To better preserve your new pet's playful energy, box and wrap the puppy or kitten at least a week before Christmas morning. Its whimsical thumpings and scratchings under the tree will surely thrill your children with a sense of anticipation!

- Every little girl wants a pony, but ponies aren't affordable or realistic for every family. An inexpensive but satisfying alternative is a "miniature armored space pony," or scorpion.

- To instill a strong sense of the responsibility of caring for a pet, have your children spay or neuter their new pet themselves.

- For hamsters or gerbils, exercise wheels are a great form of stimulation, as well as an apt metaphor for the meaninglessness of their dim, contemptible, pathetic lives.

- Quiet and low-maintenance, turtles are a great choice for a starter pet if you're looking to be a boring-ass parent who bores the hell out of your kids with totally lame things like turtles.

- There's nothing more fun than thinking up a cute name for your pet and dressing it in little outfits and teaching it elaborate tricks. But remember that a pet is not a toy.

- To maintain freshness, replace pet monthly.