I was reading the Bible the other day.....hey, it could happen! Anyway, I was gettin' some old time religion and it made me hungry. Then again, what doesn't? Then I got to cruisin' through the book of Ruth (as in Chris) and started begettin' all the begats...NOT Zagats- BEGATS....you know as in Hezron begat Ram and and Ram begat Amminadab and Amminabad begat Boaz, page turning stuff like That.....and came upon this strange passage:

In the beginning Prophets of the City of Salt made restaurants in the land of Sin and they were sinful. Into this land of want strolled the Chris of Ruth.... maker of meat....and the lord and his worshippers smiled. For verily there was, at last places of prime to behold....and the believers flocked and the money changers counted and it was good. But it came to pass that there was still a famine in the land.

And a man of the Hills of Beverly sojourned into Sodom. And the name of the man was Puck, and the name of his wife Barbara....she of the ancient decorating tribe, and they brought riches and a delights to behold and the land became fertile.... And Puck said to the unwashed: "entreat me not to leave thee, for wither thou goest I shall go... and cook." And cook he did, and others claved unto him and followed in his path. And the others said: "Let us now go into the fertile fields of Sodom, for therein lie those of eager belly and stout wallets, and we shall glean among them and find favor and cash."

And the citizens of sin were told: "wash thyself, therefore and anoint thee, and put raiment upon thee, but make thyself known unto the man and his followers, until yee shall have done eating and drinking to redeem thyselves from the buffet wilderness imposed on thee by non-believers of no taste.

So it came to pass that the faithful anointed Puck who begat Spago , and Spago begat Coyote Cafe, and Coyote Cafe begat Palm and Morton's and they begat Emeril's, and Emeril's begat La Cirque, and Le Cirque begat Circo, and Circo begat Picasso, and Picasso begat Aqua, and Aqua begat Prime and Prime begat Aureole, and Aureole begat Delmonico and Delmonico begat Charley Palmer's STEAK, and Charley Palmer's STEAK begat Commander's Palace and Commander's begat Nob Hill, and Nob Hill begat craftsteak and craftsteak begat Sea Blue, and Sea Blue begat AquaKnox, and AquaKnox begat Bouchon.

And from these fertile kitchens did bounties flow and the land of Sin was enriched. And Jehovah proclaimed that he would smote thee non-partakers with great force and vengeance, and turn thee into a pillar of salt, or even worse, make Mel- Son of Gib -make of thee a subtitled movie, if thy masses did not beget while the begettin' was good.

This is John Curtas

Add a comment here or send your comments to letters@knpr.org.
See discussion rules.