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December 10, 1998

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: The Bellagioist



Here's some food for thought. My name is John and I'm a Bellagioist. I'm so far gone that my wife and secretary have sought intervention to save me from myself. They've invoked a 12-step anti-Bellagio campaign to make me face the fact that I am helpless in the face of gourmet food dished up by celebrity chefs in designer restaurants. Only when I'm able to acknowledge this weakness and accept my vulnerability to the siren song of gastronomic temptation will I be able to turn my life over to a higher power.

Rather than bore you with the tedium of each of these convalescent steps, I'll summarize the program in case any of you are likewise afflicted. Early phases of this 12-step detoxification process force you to admit your weakness and addiction—as in I know I'm helpless in the face of Aqua's perfect alderwood smoked salmon topped with oscetra caviar. I admit that I am powerless to resist the allure of Julian Serrano's perfectly poached oysters and roasted wild turbot at Picasso. And yes, there's a monkey on the wall and on my back whenever I dine at Le Cirque. It's sad.

At later brainwashings, I've confronted my inner-most self, which is not an appetizing place, as I've been forced to acknowledge my need for guidance and restraint in the face of a perfect Hanger Steak Bearnaise or cumin-laced crab meat dished up by the innovative chefs at Prime.

Next, aversion therapy is invoked at the very sight of Todd English's ethereal foccacia pizzas at Olive's or the fresh-made pastas and fabulous desserts at Circo.

Finally, I'm reconditioned, if I don't stop eating so much, my destiny will be controlled by forces beyond my comprehension, namely a 16% interest rate and a cholesterol count that's off the charts.

In the last stages, I admit my powerlessness and true salvation is finally achievable. All that remains is relinquishment of all control to a higher authority that will henceforth dictate my thoughts and actions. And that authority is—you guessed it, she who must be obeyed. So if you see me there, stop me please before I Bellagio some more. Nancy would appreciate it.

This is John Curtas.

See discussion rules.


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Aug 3, 2009 | Food, Inc.
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Jul 16, 2009 | The Steak That Saved Las Vegas
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Jul 2, 2009 | Bang for Your Buck
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Jun 19, 2009 | Whassup with Wazuzu
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May 28, 2009 | Checkpoint Charlie
While fine dining has seen a downturn in Las Vegas in recent months, our dining critic John Curtas says at least one dining legend intends to stay put. Charlie Trotter is standing pat in Las Vegas. John Curtas reviews Resturant Charlie.

May 8, 2009 | Food Festival Frenzy!
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May 5, 2009 | Peppermill Coffee Shop and Fireside Lounge
A landmark Las Vegas restaurant gets a visit from John Curtas. He takes you to the Peppermill.

Apr 23, 2009 | Thai Me Up Thai Me Down
Thai cuisine is starting to show up in more places in Las Vegas. John Curtas has some recommendations

Apr 9, 2009 | A Gourmet Corner - In Spring Valley?
Food Critic John Curtas takes a trip to the strangest gourmet corner in town.

Apr 2, 2009 | Pip's is a Pip
If you're looking for good dining near Aliante, our dining critic, John Curtas, has found a new place to go.

Mar 26, 2009 | Stripped to Its Bare Essentials
Dining on steak at Planet Hollywood! John Curtas takes you along.

Mar 19, 2009 | Hachi is absolutely amazing!
John Curtas has a find - a Japanese-fusion restaurant on the west edge of the city.

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