Las Vegas Lite<9> (crowd noise)<9> Here we are Algie at the annual restaurant awards bestowed by Las Vegas Lit magazine. This year our panel of experts…or is editors?….have bent over backwards to kiss more aaas…..<9> Algie: now John…<9> John: ufff…what I mean is…this year they’ll be more awards than ever. And Algie just look at the crowd. Anyone who is anyone, who needs pandering to, is here…<9> Algie: Well—all I know John is the atmosphere is as thick as Emeril’s béarnaise, as restaurants from Pierto Bomboloni to Rutger Pudge hobnob with the publishers who make them famous.<9> John: Boy—you’ve got the right. Journalism be damned is the evening’s theme—so let’s watch the mutual back scratching begin.<9> Algie: our first category is …BEST RESTAURANT IN A HOTEL THAT ADVERTISES A LOT. And the winner is…..Rembrandt (applause applause)<9> John: Wow Tim it just goes to show you that these judges know what side their bread’s buttered on….<9> Algie: the next category is: SMARMIEST MAITRE’D…and the winner is Vincenzo Flagrante. (more applause)<9> John: No doubt about it Algie, if your own a magazine and need a table, en flagro flagrante is where you want to be… Housetrained as a lapdog to Hollywood’s celebrity elite, Flagrante now fawns over Vegas’ Grand Dames at Vincenzo’s in the Mega-Milanese Convention Center.<9> Algie: For our Final award we have the most important category of all (drum roll)…….BEST MEDICRE FRENCH RESTAURANT….. AND THE WINNER IS…..The Obnoxious Frog (huge applause).<9> John: Holy Mackerel….the crowd’s going wild---probably because none of them have ever paid for a meal there. This Bantam Rooster keeps on crowing when true Francophiles think it should’ve croaked long ago. Like I always say: never underestimate the power of having high friends with low standards.<9> This Award show has been brought to you by Las Vegas Lite Magazine, where our motto is: “sucking up an dumbing down, since 1997.”<9>

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