You can tell them to do their homework or scold them about breaking curfew. But how do you talk to your kids about sex? And when should you tell them? We ask the experts about how to broach the birds and bees to your children. Plus, how do you talk about sex, condoms, and sexuality? Tell us your advice.
GUESTS John Chirban, PhD, author, How to Talk with Your Kids About Sex Joyce McFadden, author, Your Daughter's Bedroom: Insights for Raising Confident Women Laura Deitsch, Education Program Manager, Planned Parenthood of Southern Nevada Mel Goodwin, Youth Services Director, The Gay & Lesbian Community Center of Southern Nevada
This is a very important topic. As a single mother I worry about how I will handle this as I didn't have a role model.
My mother stopped the conversation when I was a teen ager. I knew how things worked with scientific accuracy, but the conversation was never carried on about values and situations. For that reason, sadly, I was left to figure things out on my own and made some choices I later regretted. When people say they are "shocked" when their daughters say certain things about sex or express certain attitudes, perhaps it is because they were left to learn in a vacuum surrounded by outside influences without their input.
Unfortunately I stopped asking my mother questions when she stopped giving info. I was afraid of being judged for my questions. My mother used to complain that her mother never told her anything and mother was shocked, even, when she had her first period. Unfortunately she became almost just like her mother in that regard.
For these reasons I feel it is extremely important to keep the conversation going beyond the mechanics from the parent's side so kids can learn some "street smarts" and set appropriate boundaries.CJ –Jul 27, 2012 10:16:49 AM
Luckily this is an easy town to have the sex talks in. It's not just sex either, what with our University life and strip clubs. My daughters are now 12 and 14. By ages 8 and 10 they knew not to walk away from an open drink at a party; to never let anyone, not even their doctor, touch them on any part of their body that made them uncomfortable; they know what sex workers are; they know that they are to come to me with any questions they ever have about sex, and make sure that they and their partner have talked things through first. There are great books out there if anyone isn't comfortable initiating talks about sex - those are a fantastic starting point. My children have wonderful LGBTQ role models in their lives as adult couples and as single peers. The only pressure I put on them is to make sure that they are loved and respected by whomever they choose to date / love / marry in their lifetime. Claire Raymond –Jul 27, 2012 09:48:31 AM
My daughter told me that her friend's mother actually gives her daughter condoms before dates because she feels that if she is going to have sex she may as well be proactive and keep her daughter safe.This sort of shocked me because I feel that this is condoning her daughter having sex??esther –Jul 27, 2012 09:36:27 AM
Recently had conversation w/ 15 year old daughter obout sex etc.Was so suprised to hear from her that many of her friends felt that they all needed to have sex to just "get it over with" because it's just what you have to do.They idea that their first time had nothing to do w/ love etc and that they just needed to do it to be part of the in crowd or because amongst other reasons.I was so shocked to hear this.It wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager and am so shocked that the idea of a person's first time being special etc just doesn't seem to exist anymore.They are not even thinking about the feelings and regrets they may have afterwards.It seems like the notion of your first time being special and w/ someone that you really care for no longer exists.Esther –Jul 27, 2012 09:32:34 AM